School's-a Calling

So, I'm finally here. UCR. And for those of you who think it's a shitty school, please don't talk until you experience it first hand. But man, everyone's super friendly and it's so cool. I'm dorming with Nhung and we're having the best time ever. Our dorm is pretty sick.

Nhung's side (left) My side

So we weren't sure how to walk to our shower room. It was a dillema. We were debating to go in robes or clothes. We ended up choosing our keep robes.Anyways, we kicked it with Jen for a while during the kick off bbq which was pretty cool. Met some cool people =) Well I'll update you later <3

The Most Dreaded Blissful Moment

I haven't blogged all summer long. My lazy ass is in bed ordering shit off of eBAY all day long. If not that I'm eating ice cream out of the container, making my self a deep fried tortilla hot dog. If not that... I'm with my boyfriend who I love so much, making him cook, drive, and shop with my lazy ass, though I have no money to shop with. I gained weight to much of my surprise (not a bad thing) and I am just so boring now a days. I haven't hung out much with any of my friends, cause if I'm not working, they are. Or I'm just too lazy and I believe we'll still be friends regardless =) Nonetheless....

So are we there yet? We've been dreading this moment. The moment when all our closest friends from high school go there separate ways. Achieving their dreams in their new schools. But we're here. We're finally here at the dreadful week of good-byes.

But it's quite funny. My two close friends moved to San Francisco for school last week. And there were no good-byes and no tears. Maybe it's like that with those special friends you know will be there forever. Maybe it's like that when you know you'll DEFINITELY keep in touch with and will never loose friendship with. So, if I don't say bye to you, take it as a good thing. Maybe...there is a chance we won't talk as much. But just know that we do have that chance of being friends forever and ever.

4 more weeks for those UCers & CalPolyers that are so excited and anxious to start school. Dorm shopping was fun, and I think everyone should do it, even if you don't live in a dorm. But that means 4 more weeks to spend in your most comfortable environment...home. I'm super scared, anxious, and depressed all at the same time. Is that even possible? I guess it is NOW.

So here we go again. Saying good-bye to yet another school, and saying hello to a brand new start.

A Friend Worth Everything

And finally the day came. Steph's cotillion was on the 18th and the whole day was just soexciting.

She woke up early cause she called me around 8. We left around 930 to run some errands and at 10 I took her to Bobby K's to get her hair did. It took about an hour or soand she looked gorgeous already. Came home around 11 and we started hair and make up. It was fun chillin` with all the ladies, cause they're cutesey. At 2pm, the boys joined us and around 3 we went to get Baskin Robins cause Sarah was cravin'. We came back and up and left.
We went to the Milpitas Community Center and we had half and hour before we were allowed in. So we took pictures and then me, Daisy, Tony, Linh, and Chels went back to Daisy's to get her CD for salsa. Came back, and practiced.
630 rolled around and we got fitted and everyone looked smashin! We took pictures with the debutant, who may I add, looked like a princess. Then the party started, and all the practices were worth it. I made new friends, had a lot of fun at the parlay, and reallized my partner is the best.

STEPHANIEASIATICOGALIGUIS If I could make a speech to you, this is it. Thank you is all I can really say. Since Freshman year, we've been good friends, never the best of friends, until now. You are really the best of the best. I've told you things that you've kept under lock and key. We've shared really fun moments together, and they will always be cherished. You've been my "twin" and we honestly have that twin connection =) College is coming, and we're going our separate ways after 4 years. I want you to know that I love you dearly. There's nothing in the world that I will trade for our friendship but I would give up everything to keep it. You are an amazing girl and seeing you at your Cotillion was wonderful. You looked so beautiful and you are all grown up. No matter what path we stroll on in the future, I know that we will meet back up because we, as friends, were definitely meant to be. I love you, bestie.

The World of Darkness

I'm sitting out on my balcony with the sweet sound of serenity surrounding me. And I'm thinking "I love my life. It's THE life. But I hate the world?" Sound weird? I mean, violence is everywhere. You watch the news in the morning, and something probably happened over night. And pollution. People say they wanna live on this planet, this beautiful world, yet they trash it and make our children's children's children's children's live in what will soon be called HELL. Hatred surrounds us, our children are learning the darkness of the world faster than we did.

I mean, I honestly always told myself to fuck what everyone else thought and only think of myself. Just live my life. And I only started doing it when I got outta that hell whole High School. I love my life and I'm livin it, baby, you best believe it. I don't care what the hell you think or anyone else thinks. If you have an opinion, please be my guest and do what you like with it.

But does it get you far in life? Talking about me? I remember someone told me that he heard I broke up with my "Best Friend Ex Boyfriend" cause I was cheatin' on him. At first I was like, "What the fuck? Who would say that?" But then I realized they were talkin' and makin' up their own stories cause they couldn't get the truth outta no one. Which is probably what happened cause I only told some people what really went down. When I was thinking about this whole thing, I was gonna write to all you people who believed it and started to spread it. No. I won't cause that'll just say that I'm weak and I wanna tell you my personal things and I have no self dignity. But I do. My shit will stay my shit. So if you wanna believe I cheated on my boyfriend, you do it. I am honored to have stories made up about me. And it will be you who will make me infamous.

Sunrise, Sunset

Work has been keeping my loser life busy. Today I changed my first diaper there. It was pretty damn nasty, but whatever. Gotta learn now to prepare myself for motherhood...WHEN I GRADUATE, niggas. Anyways, it's fun. I work early mornings or even nights someitmes. I worked 30 hours in the last two weeks, which is alrright since its my 3rd week anyways. I mean, it's pretty cool cause I get the free membership while I stay there. Which isn't very long considering I'm moving out on September 20th.

Today, though, was really fun. I went to the beach the first time this whole entire year with my besties. Kanika, Jeff, Daisy, Rej, Joshie, and Rajie Paji came. We met at my house when I got off work at 130 and then hit the road around 2ish? The ride there was literally breath taking. I thought I was gonna puke cause Daisy's little Honda didn't have shocks. But it was fun in the car cause she busied us up with conversation. We played ultimate frisbie, which may I add and let the world know that I suck at, for a while, took pics and ate as we enjoyed the pretty nice weather and warm sand. We won frisbie cause I cheerleaded and distracted. Haha. And Raj hit me on accident (I guess) with it, which was my worst fear. We left around 6ish and it took us an hour an a half to get home.

On the way home, Kaneeks and I were with Jeffrey. He bought us fresh strawberries which were delicious. We threw some out the window (the stems I mean.) =X Raj was dancing and rapping to the beats playing from his iPod that we were all listening to. Joshie made me laugh hella hard once again. Raj asked him to push the fast forward button and Josh pressed the screen with the fast forward symbols on it. He thought it was touch screen but it was one of the puny screens that tell you what track it is. Ahaha love that boy. Anyways well, now I'm uploading pics onto facebook. I got work tomorrow and cotillion practice so I'm going to get some rest. Peashhh.

Down the Drain

I got money for graduation.
I make money.
I work for my money.


Yet, I am a broke muhhfucker.
I spend my money faster than the speed of sound.

Stop spending on useless shit, Stephanie!

The Downs of Summer

Shit. So I got a job at Club One behind Oakridge and I do Play Care. It's pretty fun cause the little kids say REDONKULOUS shit. I don't work everyday but I work 4 hour shifts. But today I have no work and it's really got me thinking. This is the first summer I've had to do nothing but whatever I want, cause all the other summers I had summer school. And it's SO BORING!

I mean, all my friends are either working when I'm not or they're on vacation or with their boos. And if it's not that, I'm broke as fuck. I've been fanatically shopping on eBay cause I'm so damn bored. Summers slowly coming to an end and I've hung out with...barely anyone. And I can't go on vacation cause school tuition is too much. Oh shit, I'm going nuts.

And, the whether sucks balls.

You Will Always Be...

Woke up went to De Anza. It was shit.. Pedicure with Mimi...Pretty sweet. But the highlight of my day was chillin` with you.

"I'm gonna pull a you." Yeah, I will soon. But don't forget that we'll still be friends even if I pull a you. Or even if you attempt to jump out of my car. You're amazing and I've told you that. When I'm gone, don't eat that much taco soup or get caught up with people you shouldn't be around. So I keep you to your word, "EVERY WEEKEND." And don't forget, God will punish you if you keep believing that I'm God. Oh PS, try the talking thing I've told you about. If you talk to the right person, you'll love it. Nigga, I heart you.


"I'd rather be in your top in your pretty little brain & in your corazon than on Myspace."

Myspace is Bullshit

First let me start off by saying that Naji and I have a shirt company if anyone wants to buy it =) We've been chillin and thinking of shit. ahahah. "Green my life." Copyrighted. Interpret it however the hell you want.

Secondly, I believe that though MySpace really allows people to keep in touch and express themselves, it's a whole bunch of bullshit. Honestly, half the people on my friend list are people who I can barely call a "friend." I just keep them on to look at their profiles since everything's on private anyways. Which, may I add is pretty dumb, no offense, cause if you put that much information on it to force it to be private, you're pretty dumb. Well that's not addressing everyone, cause some people just like their privacy. Nonetheless, friends on MySpace are probably not even your friends. I'm not saying you randomly asked people to add you with a message saying "I loved your profile and I believe that we'd make great friends," and then later they say "Thanks for adding me," when in reality, they added you cause they had no REAL friends or a life for that matter. Hmm wow, maybe I should delete them so I don't contradict myself more than I just did.

I also believe that top friends on Myspace is bullshit cause it causes so much damn drama. Honestly, do you really rate the order of your friends? For people who have like top 4, and it's honestly the top 4 people in your life, that's cool. But top 36 or some shit like that, CMON NOW! Are you really THAT close to that many people and comfortable enough with them to rank them? Or has it been 2 weeks, and y'all think you're so close, that you get to be on each other's tops? When in reality, you'll take them down eventually cause your friendship blossomed and bloomed way too fast. And people who actually care about being on someone's top...why? If they want you on their top they'll put you on, why are you gonna tell them to put you up? I think it's rediculous but that's my opinion. Yeah I have a top 12, but they're on private so no one will cry to me about it. I uno, if you like that shit so be it.

Oh well, that's my opinion for tonight. It's not directed to anyone. It was just a thought since I used to rank friends myself. First hand fighter.

PS Take me off your top 100 or whatever you have.

Really...It's Immature

Dear You,

I always had a feeling that we would stop being friends if it ever got this far. And it's gotten too far. Despite my attempts to stop this whole masquerade, it continued and now look. We're losing everything, including our friendship. It was hard to believe it when people said that we'd stop being friends. I thought you were stronger than that. I thought you and I had a friendship that would never end like this. I've been trying to save our friendship and never stopped trying to keep it up. But it's just a big problem now. Maybe, we shouldn't even bother with it. It takes two to tango, but you just left me out in the cold to perform by myself. And I do not take that shit, and you had no right to do that. You're full of bullshit.

Grow up and stop being immature about shit. If you have a problem with me, come to me and no one else. You spreading shit makes you look weak as fuck. Confront me.

First Day of Summer

At 12 am this morning, my parents found out about my wrist tattoo...Which is crazy. Like always, dad was the calm one and mom went loco on me. But it's all good...

Woke up at 700 to get ready for the first day of summer at EVC taking classes. But little did I know my waiting list number was the last one on both lists. Anyways, so I get out of my 2nd class and I go to Starbucks, where I started my job hunt. Filled out an application and headed over to SCORE and curve. Nothing. I go home and chill and slept...playing piano and shit like that. Then I went to Valley Fair with Bella to buy Mac Make up cause its fun to do that when you're bored. Then I go home, more piano and shit. Then dance from 7-10. It was fun. Then we stopped by Brione's parlay and then visited Naj and his sexy friends at Round Table. My parents were buzzing my collar so I had to go home ASAP. It was fun though. Some shitty moments happened that will remain unsaid. Hahahah.

Graduation

Well today was the big day. Woke up at 745 to get ready. We're having a bbq after graduation so my parents were already up.. I wasn't really nervous when I was at home, but I started to get nervous as we walked into the doors of the San Jose State Event Center. As Pomp and Circumstance played, I looked around into the practically full stadium trying to find people that I knew. I saw my mom taking pictures of me. She looked like a paparazzi. Anyways, we sat down and the ceremony began. As I sat there listening to the speeches of the valedictorians, I realized something...

High School was fun, not because of all the people you met, but because all those people showed you so many different things. I mean, it's so diverse, especially in San Jose, California, and I'm proud to say that I attended Evergreen Valley High School as a cougar =). In my past four years, I've made friends, lost friends, lost hope, gained hope, and like Nelson said..."Most importantly...made memories." I will never forget all those people who have been in my life and that are still there by my side until this day. Your impact on me was great and I wouldn't trade my four years of high school for anything. I do regret something, of course.

Now listen up all high school students. If you can avoid drama, do it. Cause when you look back after graduation, it's really a waste of time and a waste of energy. Honestly, shit talking will always happen, even when you graduate. So stop telling people you'll beat their ass cause they called you a sluthoebitch with and STD. And if you end up do beating their ass, think about why you beat their ass. I've been there, done that. You end up realizing it was stupid and you just stop talking to each other all together. And for those mamas that love to talk shit when a girl is jockin' on your man, just think that you're lucky enough that he wants to be with you and not with that hizzo.

Though it can be fun with all the gossip, you look back, like I do, realizing that you've lost some of the most important people that were in your life. And this is for the seniors...it doesn't hit you until you get out of school and practice walking across the stage the last week, but those people that are in your lives will only be there until summer is over, if not already. I always told myself I would see these people everyday of the year so it really didn't matter as much. But it does. Your best friends now will be attending totally different schools than you. You may not even get to see them more than three times in your 8 months of continuous schooling. Take advantage of what you have at the moment. Fuck drama in the ass. Live your senior year like it'll be over the next day. Yes, very cliche, but it's very true.

And to my fellow 08ers that have been there everyday of my 4 years. Thank you for making it a wonderful, memorable year. There are those certain people that know that they've made and impact on my life, good or bad. But regardless, let's drop all the high school bull shit and start a new slate. There's no use looking back on the old shit cause how would that help us in life? Hi I'm Stephanie...and I'd love to start new.

Water and Smoke

Oh my! Today was officially the last day of going to school before our big day (Graduation!) It started off with a big breakfast at school that was quite shitty. We spent about an hour or two there having other people sign our yearbooks. So sad. Then Steph and I went to 4 different places to find a cheap place to trim our hair. We ended up just getting a haircut anyawys for hella cheap cause I'm cool like that. It was fun.

Then I got ready at 12 with Steph for our slip n slide/hot tub party, which ended up to be pretty cool, I guess. There was food and water fun for the day. I got so tanned in these last few days, its redonkulous! Naji says silly things when he's out in his world, and Jimmy is mean for wanting to kick my dogs. While Naji was hot tubbing we had a talk about college and stuff which was pretty cool. I told him I applied to Mac Grill and he started to crave. Which leads me to the next part.

Daisy, Brione, Naji and I ate dinner at pasta p around 8pm. We had a fun time laughing at Daisy's OCD and Brione's dumb remarks that AREN'T FUNNY when he tries to be. (Steph: Brione do you wanna split something with me? Brione: How bout you just eat what you can and then give the rest to me?! Steph: That's splitting dumbass!) haha. It's funny cause i just met Brione last Friday at the dance which was totally weird that we became friends at the end of our senior year...like literally the end! We then decided what to do after eating and our options were between hookah and stripping. Haha.

So we ended up at the Hookah Nites Cafe which was really cute. Coincidently, Jeffrey and posse ended up there. They looked "sleepy." Naj's friends came and we all talked while sharing a hookah. It was amazing...After, we couldn't think of anything else to do cause the boys were poor, so we decided to go home. It was a really enjoyable night. =) Yay, again crew?

STDs

Alrighty. Yesterday I had cotillion practice and it was uber fun. Bryant is sexy, yes we all know that, don't we? =) Anyways, Trav, Daisy, and I came back to my house and we just randomly decided to do a music video. How did this randomness come about? THey made me buff their nails and we were listening to music while I was being LingLing. So, this is our world premier:



Don't take our boredom too seriously, now. We just love to have fun. No shame. We love the attention.

Torture, Much?

So I was reading Daisy's blog about the past week, and I realized that I have had a really great week torturing myself. I mean...it was amazing, really.

Monday: MEMORIAL DAY BBQ - that was fun, cept when i started ranting my racist jokes and laughing at myself cause I thought I was the funniest person ever. Then out of no where, my cousin's gf goes, "You know I'm _______, right?" Shit, then I was screwed. =/

Tuesday: SENIOR DITCH DAY - Honestly, I ditched even if I stayed home with Stephanie doing our Stats project =D <---thats for stephanie ;] But at least it was productive. Everyone went out to the beach or what not, and I stayed home chillin with my math book and my h.girl. Seriously, that shit is PRICELESS. Don't be jealous, boo. Wednesday/Thursday: I forgot what I did but it was probably shitty. Friday: PIERCING, AGAIN! So I'm in 6th, and Daisy texts me and goes "lets go get pierced, im ready." and im thinking that shes trippin cause the previous day she bought body jewlrey, but i didnt think she was foreall. So i'm down cause I'm totally up to get pierced anytime. (I got my tragus, tongue, and navel pierced twice). So we go, and Valerie goes with us, and it was hella funny but I'm gonna keep that confidential because I don't want anyone getting emotional. Daisy goes first, and she's like covering her face and good thing she didn't cry. Then it was my turn. I was chillin but I was like seriously sweatin and that's never happened to me before. I get off after I'm done and then Daisy goes, "Mine looks crooked." So our piercer puts her back on the bed thing and I'm about to fucking drop. (I just want to let you know, Daisy, that I knew it was your jewlrey.) So I tell Val that I need air and I can't walk myself so she goes out with me. I go out and I'm drifting back and forth on Val. Daisy comes out and then tells me I'm pale and then I yaked. =) There was red stuff in my puke, so I go "Val, is that blood?" and she tells me it is. Then I realized I ate hot cheetoes during 4th. So, for all you NOOBS, eat before you get pierced. I never thought it was a big deal until then.

Saturday: Studying for Finals! Yep, I had 8 hours of fun studying physiology.

That was my shitty-fun week. Hopefully, I'll have more fun next week. Cause its my last week of fucking high school. YEAHHH FUCKKK HIGH SCHOOL I'M IN COLLEGE NOW. kinda.

Posers

For all you posers...

So why is it that you have to pretend to be someone you're not? Eventually, the true you will come out any way, so why not start as the person you are, find people who actually like you for who you are, and be you? Isn't it better for you to know that people to hate you because you're you and not because you pretend to be you? Why can't you freaking just be yourself and stop being the ghetto poser that you are.

I don't know you well, but it bothers me to know that you talk shit about me and what i do with myself, when you don't know me well either! Yeah, I shouldn't care, but the thing is, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU THAT WELL. I don't talk shit about you because I respect you. You have never done anything until now to loose my respect for you. I was always nice to you and yet, you have shown what I see to be selfishness. Whatever, cause people live their lives the way they want. And if you want to talk shit about my lifestyle...DO IT!

I love the way I am, the way I speak, the way I express, and the way I think. So like me or not, I'm here. So i have nothing more to say about this. But remember, you can't be someone you're not. If you try...you'll be a poser. A freaking poser.

"Midnight Masquerade" - EVHS Prom

So prom was yesterday. What a hectic day...

Tinh woke me up ariund 8 because we needed to go run errands. He picked me up around 9 and then we went to the gas station to pump so oil, then we went to the mall to try to find me some jewlrey. (The day before I had recieved my diamond plugs in the mail, but they were 6g and i'm 8g so I coudln't wear em) I thought the mall would be opened at 9am on Saturdays but I guess I was wrong. They opened at 10 so we waited around. Then I saw Kaneeks at starbucks with her hair all did and she volunteered to wait with me and then take me to my hair appointment at Bobby K after we were finished. Tinh then left and then picked up our flowers and he got ready.

Kaneeks and I shopped around and instead of plugs, i just put diamond studs in my ear. It really hurt and itched so don't do it if you have gages. Anyways, so then we went to Frederick's to get a ... fuck i just forgot the word but you put it around your thigh. When we went in, this weird dude was walking around smiling around the store, so we went out and bounced. Kanika took me to my hair appointment at 1030, where I met up wit Mimi and I saw Amy, Tiffany, Sammy, Sarah, and Kevin. I forgot an updo picture so I just told them what to do. It took about an hour and Tinh took me back to Daisy's after for make up.

When I got to Daisy's, she was still at her hair appointment and Tinh had to meet the Limo guy at 12 at the Corinthian so he left me at Daisy's. I waited for her and she finally came home. She had to do Kanika, Annie, and my makeup. So she did it and it was really really good.

Then I went to take studio pictures with Tinhathan. It was fun. They were like .."Are you guys boyfriend girlfriend?" We're like "Uhhh...no best friends." haha it was funny. SO then we rode around in the limo, went to the Corinthian at 2 to meet up with the boys, but all of them came late like at 3. Then we went to the Biltmore to pick up the girls. It was so squishy in the limo. I was sitting on the foor with Alyson most of the time anyways. Ohh well it was fun saying hi to people on the freeway.

Next, we went to take pictures at Dolce Hayes Mansion, where we soon got kicked off. And we we went back to the Corinthian to take pics. Everyone looked good.


After we went to eat at McCormick and Schmitz under the Fairmont in downtown San Jose. Yummy but expensive. There was an anime convention the same day. And Alyson seemed to know ALOT of anime people. She even took a picture with one. ahaha.

Then it was prom time. We got to eat dessert, do charactures, and dance. I had a lot of fun. The after party was aiight. But we just went home early around 2. Nonetheless, prom was totally worth it.

Hate That I Love You

That's much I love you (yeah)
That's how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeahah)
And I can't stand ya
Most everything you do
Make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile (no... oh...)

Cuz' you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss... and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oooh whoah...)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh...)

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh

Sad and it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why (why...)
And it just ain't right

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

What Did I Do?

So I finally told you last night. And it being your finals week and my prom week, it was not a good thing. It's probably the worst time to tell you but I couldn't hide it from you anymore. And I'm partially glad I told you. But now...

What do we do? What do I do? What can we do? What should we do? What is there to do? Why did I do it? Why didn't I hide it? Should I have said it? Is this wrong?

What did I do?

UCR

This weekend my parentals and I took a trip down to Riverside to visit UCR. Let me tell you that San Jose may feel hot as hell, but I feel hella bad for those cows in SoCal that have to endure the 100+ degree heat. Seriously, it was smokin down there. 102 degrees, a tour guide told me. Fuck...that's a downer.

Anyways, so from Bakersfield, which is 3.5 hours from San Jose, it's another 3 hours from Bakersfield to get to Riverisde, making a total of about 6.5 hours from San Jose to Riverside. Quite a long way from my parents when I really think about it. But then I think, San Diego's a little farther. Nonetheless, it's hot and far. So we got there around 1230pm and hung around until our tour started. As we toured the campus, I realized that though it was a nice looking, smallish school, all the construction really hurt my views on the campus itself. But my dad says construction is good cause that means they get a lot more money and is trying to expand. Alot of the construction, however, will be done by the time I go there in the fall, if I decide to go. So, I'm looking foward to that. I really like the mountains that surround the school itself. It makes it very isolated-ish, but I dislike it because it looks like we're in a desert.

So we continued the tour, and it was NOTHING like Merced, where everything was new but not enough trees. There were lots of trees and such. And there were also PEOPLE around. The dorms were pretty and it seemed as if there were ALOT of minorities (I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing). The tour guide told me that UCR was 1st in Cali to have the most diverse campus and 3rd in the nation for that too. So, I guess that's a good thing. The day I went they were having their Spring Splash where all these different artists come to play and stuff. Bone Thugz and Harmony and The Pack were there. So that's a plus cause they have things like that every quarter! Haha.

As a conclusion, I guess UCR isn't a bad school. Though people don't hear about it much, it's still around and people should really look into it. I mean, it's not FULLY developed yet, but it's 50 years old! Yes, they do accept mostly everyone but they're trying to make a name for themselves I guess. Overall, I like UCR. I don't know why some people look at it as a crappy UC. It's still a UC and it's nice. Yeah, if I had the choice I'd go to another UC, but I got accepted to UCR with, I'm sure, a whole bunch of other people, and I might as well take my opportunity to go there. Foreal though, UCR is NOT ALL for the rejected. There's an 11 year old kid there, and out of all colleges, he picked UCR. So tell me why some people think it's still shit. There are some really cool facts about UCR. And, if you took the time to hear about it, I'm sure it'd catch you attention too. I'm not telling people to go there and that it's the best school ever. But it's really not as bad as everyone thinks. Anyways, I like it and I'm looking foward to visiting it again.

SlipNSlide Fun

For the last two days, I've been SlipNSliding with my homies =) And tanning cause prom's rolling around and I LOVE DARK, unlike Daisy who likes baby powder.

On Wednesday, Scotty, me, Kanika, and Daisy were tanning outside my house. Well, just me and Scotty. The other two went "shade tanning" which Daisy considers fun. Haha. At first it was supposed to be a car washing party, but I was the only one who washed my car. Whatever. I got dark. Then around 7 we went to eat Sushi and Shin Sushi, which is the best sushi place ever. (It's on Blossom Hill next to Sports Authortity).

On Thursday, BJ, Steph G, and I went to Oakridge and it was FUCKING HOTT. So I just randomly decided to buy a slipNslide for $30 bucks, which is totally worth it cause it has a shark head, and have my fun. Scotty, me, BJ, Daisy, and Shanelle were slipNsliding for a few hours and it was hella fun.

On Friday, I invited more people, and went slipNsliding again. But only Daisy, Reg, Scotty, me, Meg, and Steph played. That's okay cause everyone will be jealous of our new tans and our fun times of sliding on our backs. Haha. We got HELLA dark. Well at least me and Steph did. Next time I invite you, you better come because you missed out on the last two times:

INDEPENDENT

Today I got home and had a "tanning/car washing" party with Kanika, Daisy, and Scotty. Well, I was the only one who washed my car and Scotty and I were the only ones who tanned. Yah gotta tan beffore prom =) I'm super excited. Can you believe it's only one week away? Anyways, we went to Shin Sushi after cause we were craving sushi. It was fun. Oh..and to my babygirl Daisybelle. I'm proud of you. You actually did it! You got passed all that fear and just went in for the dive. I'm glad you come to me, no matter what I say and do to make it seem like you're uneducated about the aftercare but I love you and will always be there to answer your questions. Even if it's 2 in the morning. But too bad I wansn't there to witness it, but don't worry. Pain = Pleasure = Rebellious, which means you're gonna be back to the place soon. Haha. Conmigo y tu hermana.

Lately, I've been just chillin. I hang out with a lot more people, which is good. And I've noticed that I've been very positive about life lately. But I must admit, that I feel like what I'm doing is a mistake. I mean, I'm high maintanance when it comes to relationships, and he knows that. But no one else understands it. I need attention and such. And right now, I'm trying to get over it and become a new me.

I say "If we're meant to be, fate will bring us back together." You say, "If we're meant to be together, we'll be friends forever." We've talked about all this lately, and I love how people misunderstand our relationship right now. It feels like we're so complicated to other people, but we really have secrets that get us through and helps us solve each other's "puzzle", like the rubrics cube =). It does surprise me that we can be so close, yet so far from each other at the same time. "How do you guys do it? I mean, you're dating and he's not." Well, it's for us to know, and you to hopefully find out. Cause that's the TRUE definition of LOVE, independence, friendship and trust.

Tomorrow I have to tan again :) Oh, and Stephanie, look for a job.

AP Tests & Awkward Turtles

Yay for AP tests! Not. On Monday was Gov't and Tuesday was Stats...Honestly, I don't know how I did. So don't ask. I'll just lie to your face. But we started Stats HELLA late. It got me kinda mad and unmotivated, I'll tell you that.

On to more emotional shit. I don't know how to feel about you. I feel like it's not right and I feel like it's...Grrr... It's really hard to explain without saying too much.... And the situation you put me in is so awkward. I feel like an awkward turtle. =/ I don't know what to do. So I make a vow to figure it out by the end of next week.

Oh, someone, please shoot me.

The Empire Ballroom - Bellarmine Prom

So last Saturday was the day. THe day of Bell's prom. I was uber excited cause I gotta chill with my babygirl, Joshie, and Steve for the night. I got ready around 2. I went to the Evergreen Beauty College, and they weren't as good cause they dind't have Hoy. This lady did my hair and she couldn't speak english so it made me mad that she had no idea what she was doing. So I just told her to curl it. I did my own hair at the end. Oh! And I asked them to paint my nails. And for $2 bucks, I'm thinking that there beauty college has a WIDE selection of colors. So i'm like, I'm here already, so might as well. I sit down, and the lady goes "okay what color?" And she pulls out like 3 COLORS! Purple, clear and like this greenish. I'm like uh..any other colors? She pulls out some sparklies but I just go with purple. Whatever.

Anyways, so Josh picks me up around 4:45 and we head back to his house to take some pics. He was so cutee in his white tux and he actually came in my house to get me. What a gentleman... So we get there, take some pics and head over to Steves. And might I add that his parents are the cutest! Hahaha.

Okay, so we get to Steve's and take some more pics and we head out in his CONVERTIBLE SPIDER. Yeah. Better than a limo...! So we put the hood down and it starts to mess up our hair so we were like, whatever put it back down. We put the hood down until we almost go to the school and we were BALLIN` up to the campus. Ha.

We get in, mingle, find our table, take pics, and gamble for a while. Then it was DINNER TIME! They had yummy salad, lasagna and desert. There were hella white girls up in there though, but go figure. They had on their nice ass dresses like they had 5 of them and it was nothing. Whatever. I had fun, even though the DJ sucked balls. He was playin like country and techno and 5 seconds of Hip Hop. Lame sauce. But me and Joshie had fun dancing to techno music. haha I guess... But I've never in my life seen girls dance line dancing at a dance... EVER. Is it even legal in California!? JK, don't line dance me to death now. It's okay though cause I had a great talk with Josh. Yeah, we make a pretty damn good team.

It's okay, admit that we're fly.

Senior BBQ

Yesterday was the senior BBQ and the panoramic picture. Yay, we finally got a panoramic, since we got it taken away in 8th grade! Well my day started off in Leadership, which I actually went to for the first time in decades since its boring cause we aiint ASB no more. Haha. Then Trav, BJ, Steph, Bryant and I went to Jamba. I learned today about Swishers and they're yummay. Tastes just like a hookah. Then came the panoramic. We actually got there on time and I saved spots for the group, but they kinda came late. Our whole senior class had to try and squeeze into this hella small space. Hmm...squishy! It was fun cause me, Daisy, and Ray were on the stairs and took pictures!

Then we went to the field after for Field Day, which we got taken away in 8th grade too. We watched people play games and shit. Alot of people just sat around listening to music and waiting for the BBQ to start. It was so much better than the theatre, you have to admit.

JL and the Ladies.

ASB-reunited and it feels so good.

Anyways, then we volunteered to serve food, which was fun. I got to give chicken out. Yummy. I liked the food despite what others said about it. Anyways, it was fun. I went up to see DylDyl after and he had ice cream but I was too full to eat it. =( Boo. Anyways, yeah, that was the day. Tomorrow is Bellarmine's prom. Hope to see how it turns out. Yay!

Honestly...

So lately me being a good liar has backfired on me. I guess bragging about it really came back to haunt me. I got caught going to Frisco instead of SB with Daisy by my phone record, I ditched and said I was really late to class and my dad emailed my teacher and found out, and I'm just getting in more trouble as college time rolls around the corner.

My dad says I have a cumpulsive lying disorder, which is a disease that I should rid myself of. Okay, if that's what will prevent me from getting into more trouble, I admit it. I have a cumpulsive lying disorder. And...truthfully, I'm ashamed and not proud of it now that I think about it. But who made me think lying is okay? All the people around me. You hurt me, I hurt you. That's how life is now...And I'm going to take a step to admit it and change it.

As we continue to float about on the boat of honesty, I must say that honestly...I really have no clue what I am doing with my life as of now. Fun, yes. But c'mon now, I'm a senior. I'm an adult. Should I be more adult-ish? Should I stop fucking around like a little girl? I don't wanna grow up!! I love to have my share of fun. Living my I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T LIFE is satifying. Not the best, but coping and living it like I should. But does being independent mean being childish? Isn't independence a sign of adulthood? .... ???

Babylove, we don't talk anymore. You got what you wanted, I got what I wanted. So...should I feel guilty for the situation we're in now? I wish we had that friendship....a REAL friendship. Honestly, we don't have a real friendship. YOU know what we have. Don't deny it. I don't know what to do. Don't you ever wonder about everything? Don't you ever just think and say "Wow, we fucked up." Cause I do...all the time now.

Ditching Starts with D's.

Note to self...

NO MORE DITCHING FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR AND RAISE YOUR GRADES.

really though...parent connect is totally sneaky. My parents know my every move at school. Isn't that like invasion of privacy or something? Anyways, in a way I guess parent connect is a good thing or I'd be in court by now. Truancies are no no's. My car, my phone, and my life will be stripped of me and I will be left as a corpse. SO NO MORE DITCHING STEPHANIEASHILEY.

ps. i love TTTN, bfflpm
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MustBeNice.mp3 Lyfe Jennings
Must be nice
Having someone who loves you despite your faults
Must be nice
Having someone who talks the talk but also walks the walk
Must be nice

Prom Stress

This whole week I've been staying up till midnight searching for that perfect prom dress that fits my budget. Let it be known that I am paying for my own prom. Reasons are confidential. Anyways, so I saw this dress that I so desperately wanted at Bay Area Bridal but it was $300 not including alterations. Now, I know prom is suppose to be a girl's ultimate time to spend money on a dress that they will never wear again, but really...it's unrealistic to me to spend that much money on a dress I can and will only wear once. And that's only the dress. According to my mathamatical calculations, prom for a girl is approximately $400 with a cheap dress! That's hair, makeup, nails, shoes...etc. For me, I don't work, I don't slut myself (which would fall under work) so I have no money. Therefore, I tried looking for a cheap dress. But nonetheless, that dress was so gorgeous. It was gold with gems and zebra print a little. But, not in my budget, and not in my size. (Shorties, y'all know how that is.)

But today I found the perfect dress. Well, Bella did, but it's still perfect. IN my budget, in my color, and in my size. With alterations, I'd say it was about $200 and yes, you will say but that's only $100 more for your dream dress...BUT ITS $200 FOR A DRESS I'D WEAR AGAIN! It's not satiny, or silky, or velvety, or gemmy...It's just pretty. =) I love it!

I got hair appt, make up appt, limo and dinner done. I gotta email the guy from the limo though (NOTE THAT). But I'm so excited cause I'm not spending as much with my dress. I got mostly cheap shit. I think that no matter what dress you get for prom, you can make it fit prom with a good hairdo and some fly shoes. Ya just gotta pull it off perfectly. Hopefully, I will. I'm really excited for prom. Especially to see how everyone looks... Well, we'll see whatts up when the time rolls around. Now, I'm stress free. Well, except the money part. I'm selling lollypops!!!

My Prom Surprise

So, Monday Bella had asked me to go help her out with a prom surprise that she was gonna do for someone on Wednesday. Of course, being the best friend that I am, I agreed. But it was odd to me that when she asked me, Jeff kept going, "What time are you going? When will you be back? No not Wednesday!" But stupid little me, I thought it was nothing.

Then comes Wednesday, today, and she told me she'd pick me up around 3 but we'd have to pick up the keys from a friend. Three rolls around and she goes, okay I'm coming at 4 because I have to get more stuff. Now, I'm looking at her away message which says "Hanging out with ______" and I'm like...That's funny cause she's gonna ask him today so she must be tricking him or something. Another stupid act right in front of my eyes. She calls me and tells me she forgot her camera so I was like okay I"ll bring mine. But when I got into the car, there were no balloons or anything. So I figured she dropped them off, but stupid me. So she goes "We still have a lot to do, I have to blow up more balloons." And I say "What time does he get back?" And she responds with 530. It was 430...so between 1 and 430 she hung out AND got ready? Now it all comes to me... She's a good liar. But I believed her cause I'm really oblivious, so she says.

She picks me up and we go to Hillstone Park. SHe calls this "friend" and says where are you?! And I guess he said something like "I'm not here yet" because we had to get out of the car and wait for him by the globe. Now it makes me think...why the globe...so specific, if he was on the way...shouldn't we have waited by the car so we could go...Oblivious. Then I skip around as she sits down on the bench and i look at the kites and the little tundras down below. Moments later, Daisy goes "Stephanie...What's that over there on that hill?" And I see two half naked boys, which were Raj and JEffrey...holding a sign but I wasn't paying attention to it. "Naked people!" I said. Bella goes "No...THE SIGN" and I'm like..."Prom? Who's getting asked to Prom?" And Joshua jumps out behind me and says "WIll you go to prom with me?" Being the nice person I am I agree.. =D.

I turn to Daisy and say "Why didnt' you record it?!" But then that'd be weird...Anyways, now all the clues are coming back to me. They told me I was looking directly at them when I was walking, but I guess they are really good camoflaugers cause I did not see them. And Daisy is a good liar cause I did not know at all...

After Steve, Josh, Me, and Daisy went to Vallco for tux's. I pretty much said the dumbest thing there along with Josh so Steve and Daisy are gonna nominate us for Bellarmine's Most Oblivious Couple :) SOunds terrific!

Some pictures ... Click on them for a zoom.

Dance in Stockton

Wow. Stockton was fun. SoulFresh attended a competition called Breakthrough in Stockton at UOP and got 2nd place. When we first went, we felt so out of place because we were the only ones from San Jose. Haha, but don't let our quietness fool you because we're BEASTS! We got 2nd, and could not ask for more. Peoritocs totally deserved first !. We met a lot of people too! We met SickStep...Be jealous. Haha. And Richie Natural Bboy and I are friends aha. Yeah, he's the one in the beginning of "So You THink You Can Dance"...Yes, Yes, i know...be jealous.

Earnest, Kanye, Lupe, & Pharrell

Today was off the hook. I woke up around 9, went to B of A, then to Lucky's to get flowers for Natalie, Lili, and Chris. Dylon and I went to the play "The Importance of Being Earnest" to watch the lovely, talented people in it. Whom, may I add, I love to death. To you all, I have one word...TALENTED. Damn, especially my babygirl Natalie. Whooohooo! Work it! Aha. Anyways, Dyl and I played Scrabble (Which i rule at) during the times when they weren't performing. So any challengers, besides Katie, hit me up. I'm geeunit.

Around 6, Jeff, Aniqua, Kaneeks, and I started our wonderful journey to the Kanye concert. We parked in a parking structure about 5 minutes or less from the HP which was totally far. But whatever. So we get it, find our seats, and its hella not full...which is a surprise because it's suppose to be a sold out concert. Lupe Fiasco came on and did his thang, which was really cool. He's so talented =D. Then it was a break to switch off stuff for NERD. During "Superstar" Aniqua, Kaneeks, and I went to buy a shirt. It was $40 for a shirt! They make HERRUH bank. So we go back, wait more, and then...The best part of the concert came. SKATEBOARD P niccuhs. He's so sexy. Damn, I wanna marry him. He sang "Lapdance, She wants to move, Rock Star Poser" and a couple of other songs. It was soooo sexy. At first Kanika didn't think he was sexy until she saw him and she changed her mind. That's what sexy things do to you =) aha. OMG they were soooo good! NERD in a whole. Next, Rhianna came on. Dissapointing, like last time at the BooBomb. She was a bit better but she needs to stop letting us sing and she needs to sing to us. But nonetheless, it's all good for the opening acts. We waited like half an hour for Kanye...

They opened up with Kanye laying on the floor of a "spaceship" and desert floors. It was so cool. He incorporated humor, life lessons, and his songs into one story line. It was amazing. I think anybody who didn't go should really really regret not buying tickets cause he was off the heezy. When he sang "Hey Mama" I was about to cry. He was really into it. I was too! But this white bitch was smoking hella next to me and she couldn't dance and kept coming into my space. I kept hinting her to move back by nudging her but oh well. Her high ass didn't comprehend. So I let her be, seeing that 4/20 is tomorrow (today right now.) It was sooo incredible!!!! I wouldn't have traded this concert for anything. Great line up. I hope NERD comes to town and does their own. Period.

FEVER

Today was cool. Got out of school super early like 10 and I went to Bella's for a bit. We did nothing, but she cooked for me. Stupid Cubby peed on my shoes. Oh well, good thing they weren't nice shoes. Anyways, so I left at 11 to go to my Dr's appointment and that went well. It's confirmed...I'm sick. So layoff for a while fellas. Hahaha. JK

I went to kick it with Dyl after I went to the doc's. It was fun. We did nothing, ate Togo's, went joy riding like racers do, and he owes me a new ass cause he kicked it so damn hard. Nigga's a gentleman and I realized he sucks fucking balls in spanish. But then I also realized, I'm really not that bad in spanish. "Biggie Smalls era muy negro tambien." lmao...don't ever say that, Dyl. It won't get you an "A" anywhere!

Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her
He said Julie baby your my flame
Now give me fever.

She's Slowly Emerging

I love you. You know that. And now it's clear and plain to see that we are really moving on and going onwards with it. Seems so artificial, this little seperation. I'm still not totally used to it. It still feels like I should be calling you more often, seeing you more often, and talking to you more often. As for you, I can tell that you are trying just as hard as me to make me happy, even though I killed you, emotionally. Yes, it breaks my heart. And I'm sure, as you also told me, that it breaks yours. You know a lot more than I tell you. You know what's going on with me even if I deny it. But the fact of the matter is, that we are best friends, so why do we have to change EVERYTHING? Why is it wrong to do the things we used to do together? Is going out considered wrong because of it. You know what I'm talking about... Cause eating dinner seems to be. And, I told you how I felt about it all. And no I am not "angry". I am simply trying to do the same as you---cope to the new changes that we have agreed to take part in. I am trying to be the same person, yet at teh same time, change the little things about me that you always told me were making me...weak. I guess in a sense, I am because I let those things get to me. But, for you and myself, I'm going to make myself strong, but this time...alone. I want to thank you for doing something that you did not agree with but supported me in. You taught me to do that...which brings me to my next discussion,

YOU. You know I'm talking to you. I confronted you about this already but I have a lot more to say. I trusted you and trusting people is a hard thing for me. You and your actions have given me the mentality that it's okay to hurt people. It's okay to tell your best friends secrets that your closest girl friend has told you. It's okay for you to sit there, and tell her that you "don't know what to say except 'sorry'" with a smirk on your face the whole time. The whole time I was looking at you, you made absolutely no eye contact. You looked like a different person. Someone that I dind't know. It's funny cause I really thought you were someone I could really trust. Now it's not that way because I have a reason to not trust you. But I will not do the same to you, I just want you to know. I'm not like that. You know, it took me guts to go to your house even if you were mad at me and ask you politely what you said. And it pisses me off that you lied...AGAIN, when I asked you if you told anyone. You lied until I told you to stop lying because I knew. Really, can't you just fess up? But then you did. And you know, I stayed freaking calm the whole time which is very unlike me, especially when someone tells someone my secret and paints a portrait of me that is not me. You painted a piece of shit when I'm really not like that. Speaking of paintings, maybe you can give me my birthday present the way you percieve me. Oh, you know it wasn't beneficial to me, I did it to help you out, which makes YOU seem like a fool. And telling people the way you did, make you seem like a bigger fool. But it was okay to me, because I can't go back and change what you did. All i can do is accept your apology and move on with my life. It's just a ditch in my road, and I'm not about to let YOU chip off the pavement.

But I want to thank you for confirming that people are full of shit and they should never be trusted, even if their facade of the perfect friend is apparent and overriding your thoughts of "Oh, this person is like every other. I'll give them a chance." You are truly, truly, one in a million. Oh, and thanks for making me realize, I'm pretty much a great motherfucking friend and that I would never ever do what you have done to me to anybody. It's not worth it in any way.

It's a Little Funny..

You know, you'd think that senior year is drama free. You'd think that you'd try to continue walking on the same path even after something flew and smacked you right smack dab in the middle of your face. I must admit, senior drama is more mature...I guess. You say things differently, and you really think before you say stuff. You also just kinda really wanna get over it as soon as you can especially cause your year is almost over.

But it's a little funny that you can't get passed it. You're still walking blindly on the same damn path but with twists and turns into ditches and off pavements. It's funny that you care so much about it that you can't let go. You let every little thing get to you, when some of it can be avoided. It's killing me...it really is. "Why can't we all just be friends?" the old cliche goes...

So why can't we all be friends? Why is there always that presence of jealousy or a lingering feeling of replacement when a friend talk to another friend? Why is there always that hatred that comes along when somebody does something wrong to somebody thats not even you? Why can't we just say "That's her personality. If she wants to do it, that's her and she'll pay up later?"

But its a little funny that we can't say that because we're so stuck in our little world of hate, war, and violence. You may think that you're the best person and you don't say any of it...but you have. You've said it whether it be in your head, or on paper. It's really all the same feeling. But I guess it's only human nature.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I told you today that I lost total respect for you...that you've been lying to all of us. And in my perspective, you have. Not only am I saying it because I have no proof, but because I want you to realize what you have become. You're so different...you're so twisted up in your bubble of happiness that will soon be over... And then it makes me think, will she stay with you longer now because we're all telling her she wont last with you? But when I really think about it, I still love you and I still do somewhat have respect for you because you've always been there for me. Well...most of the time. And I know you feel me and where I'm comin' from, yet I can't imagine where you're coming from? But you know how I truly feel about this. I've told you more than once. You're still my fat boy. Just a little .... blinder---if thats a word.

Nonetheless, it's your decision. It's your life. Who are we to say what you should do with your life? But I guess it's cause we just really really really care about you....Hopefully, you can see past all the poison and see that.

Evil Urges

I want to ruin your life.
I want to scare the shit out of you.
I want to knock you out.
I want to bitch slap you.
I want to....

But these are only urges that will remain in my mind. I will prevent them because I dont' want to hurt others because of my urges. Hopefully, my urges don't become reality when you piss the fuck outta me.

Everyone knows I have a super bad temper. I'm not braggin about it and I'm workin on it, but in this situation, I will stop at nothing to get peace and clarity with myself.

The Way Friendship Works

Yesterday, I had cotillion practice for Chels. Huy is hella funny and i'm super satisfied that he's my partner. I left around 130 to go to dance cause we had a performance at Lunardi's. When we were there, J called me and told me he was in the hospital. "Stop fucking around!" I said...which later on seemed stupid to say, especially cause he wasn't lying. So after our performance, Daisy and I went to the hospital to visit him. He was laying there in his cute little pediatric room with all his boyfriends. We sat there and talked for a half an hour. I was telling him stupid secrets and then he wanted to tell me one. Then it came out...the worst news ever, and I pretty much teared up.

Now, when you have a close friend, you need to treat them right. You also need to support them in most everything they choose to do. Though you, yourself, believes its the worst decision and you do anything in your power to stop it, you can't. You can't because it's his life. You can't protect him forever. And if he's willing to take that chance to experience what he experienced two times before, let it be. I cried so hard. Now looking back, I thought I was stupid for crying, but I wasn't. I cried because my friend seemed as if he did not want to hear anything I was saying. He just layed there as we yelled at him. Yeah he was pretty sedated, but he stared blanklessly and speechless.

I was so upset. We just left without a last "goodbye". When we were driving home, I began to think. Thinking that we could not go and be hypocritical about this situation. That we were still his friends through whatever. And that we weren't gonna be the people to tear down his throne of happiness. We weren't gonna hurt him like he hurt us. We weren't gonna agree with it. We didn't want to support him. But when you have a friend as close as we were, we had to let him do whatever he wanted.

Texted him this morning, telling him how much I missed him and how unhappy I was. But I will support him in his decision but will NEVER EVER agree with it. I told him I loved him and that was it. .. But babylove, I want you to know, your decision is hurting EVERYBODY, whether they tell you or not. It's especially hurting yourself. I'm sorry you made your decision.

And now...If ANYBODY hurts him, I will, and I promise, will knock them out and wish they never fucked with him. But don't let that scare you cause i'm only 4'11. And keep on doing what you're doing, cause at the end, we'll all see the real you.

It's Really Tearin' Up My Heart

Damn, if only I could tell you what happened. If I could only tell you all the times that I have done wrong. There are things that you can take from me because we're friends, but there are others that friends as close as us can't handle. My mind wants me to speak out. But if I do, everything will be over between us. Our friendship will be burned in the flames of hell. It's driving me crazy. Now I really know what it means for somthing to break your heart.

Last Day of the Last HS Spring Break

Homework all day...is probably the worst last day of spring break ever.

18 Years Legal.

So yesterday was the big day. Not only was it my real birthday, it was the biggest birthday party I've ever. Woke up around 830 and got ready to pick up a cake and the frame with Tinh. Around 11 we headed to Mission and we unwrapped the candles for about an hour. I then went to the Evergreen Beauty College on Capitol and Aborn to get my hair done. Valerie had suggested it to me the night before to get my hair done at a beauty college since I was on a budget. The guy that did my hair was brilliant. I didn't even tell him what I wanted and he read my mind or something cause it turned out the same way I was thinking about doing it---if that makes sense at all. I got my hair done for $20 and it was worth every dollar. Ha. After my hair, Tinh dropped me off at home and I headed to Daisy's house who does my make up for every occassion, so duh she would do it for me on my birthday. It was the best work ever. I loved it. It was suttle, yet really beautiful. Thanks mamas. So after I headed to Mission again to help Tat's mom decorate. 530 came around fast!

The party soon began and the food looked good. I expected more people but whoever came was more than I could ask for. They seriously made the party worth the money. Thank you so much to those of you who came. And the presents were off the hook. Thank you so much! Each of you put a lot of thought into your presents. I could tell cause it kinda showed who you thought I was or how well you knew me. Like Andy Tran...that book is really amazing and it gives me alot of shit to do haha. And Michael Ho...I really liked your gift, especially since we have to watch it together since we never did. And to all the ladies that bought me purses, haha, thanks! You guys know that I like bags. Make up givers and clothing givers. Damn, it was seriously a really good way of knowing how you saw my style. Thanks everyone!

I was pretty upset at those who RSVP'd and didn't come. Especially those that didn't tell me or call me. It was pretty fucked up since I pay per person that RSVP'd. The food isn't cheap. But at least I had people who ate as much as they could to help me out. I'm not mad that you didn't come. I'm mad because it's rude. Think about it before you RSVP. Seriously people, if you can't make it, the LEAST you can do is call. I feel as if I should tell you to pay, but I'm not that mean. So, hopefully you won't make someone else feel like that in the future.

On a happier note, the after party was crackin. Well I guess only for me since I was the only one pretty tipsy. People! I wasn't drunk cause I remember EVERYTHING that EVERYONE said. So test me bitches. The only thing was that I couldn't open my eyes cause I was sleepy and I had a headache and all I wanted to do was eat pretzels and laugh. Yeah...okay well thanks guys for taking care of me. Specially cakes.

Grr. Long day.

So today was a pretty long day. Woke up at 8 cause Tati's momma called me to pick up the helium. Then I went to get gas. I was pretty scared to drive my damn car cause i was on low. I'm talkin' like the fucking gas light came on two days ago low. But I made it, Thank the lord. So usually my $40 can fill the tank to pretty much full, but it got me 3/4ths.

Seriously ... just a thought, what is up with our world? Damn people need to really start usin' them rubbers so our world won't get over populated and our resources won't get used up that fast. That would probably result in cheaper prices.

Anyways, Daisy and val came over to do my birthday photoshoot. Pretty much sounds conceided but it was for the thing you sign when guest come in. I'm not a really good model so I had a lot of direction to take into account. That damn beezy Daisy made me lay in my neighbor's uncut wet grass with my tanktop. Whatever, I gotta give her credits cause the picture turned out pretty sick. Then I went off to get helium with Tinh. After that I went to watch Horton Wears a Who with Dyl. It was hella funny. We ate at Red Robins after and talked about stuff that better stay at the table, you shit. Anyways, it was fun. I was gonna go get my nails did with Kaneeks, but there was a long line and Dyl wanted a pedicure. Hahaha. But I took him to Elaine's before I got my nails done. That was my day.

Now I'm siked for turning 18. Legalized will be fucking dope. Yay for the 18 years and older jobs, cause I want to do that! That's right...I can be a stripper. My dream job! Then when you say "hit that bitch, oh go," you'll be payin for it before you go . =)

Peace niggas. I'm off to bed. Another long day lies ahead of me. I got to do HOMEWORK. Foreal this time.

SushiSushiSushi.

I promised myself I wouldn't go out today cause I had that damn research paper to do but I did. At least I finished my appeal to Davis though! Anyways, Daisy, Jefe, Raj, Steve, and I went to San Mateo to eat the all you can eat (kinda) sushi. First I went to Chel's cotillion practice which was pretty productive. Haha. Then Jeff came over. As we waited for the rest of the gang, we sat with my dog in my backyard and did nothing. It was fun I guess. Whatever. Then the rest came and I got shotgun for the first time!!! Yay for me. So we got to San Mateo at 230 and fuckin the place was packed as fuck. We were like 5th on the waiting list so we went to buy stuff at the Japanese dollar store. I bought a lunch container thing. It was $1 and its so fucking sickkk. So we finally get in around 3, but that's when the all you can eat ends!! So Daisy, of couse we know Daisy would do this, was like "But we came here at 230 so...." So the lady told us we had half an hour to order and the hungry hippo Raj was like "Will you bring our food fast then?" lmao. It was funny. So we ordered right away. They actually gave us like an hour. At the end of our amazing lunch, we had some sushi left over, but they wont let you take it for some odd reason. They rather waste it then let you take it. So I remembered I had the lunch container, so my brilliant mind told me to take it out and stuff as much shit in there as I could. I opened the lunch container and ANOTHER ONE FELL OUT OF IT. I was so fucking amazed. So I took some sushi home. We stopped by Quickly's on the way back to the car and Daisy owes me money and so does Jeff cause we ordered $10 of shit just for a shitty Nutella crepe for Daisy's fat ass. Oh well.

On the way home, I really needed to pee so we had to stop by jack in the box near amc Mercado. Then we all went home and I went home and finished my homework. I'm so proud!

Tell me why though I fucking turned down Sexy's offer to go out? STEPHANIE G....tell me what the fuck is wrong with me? Party and Sexy? That's fucking off the hook. TOo bad I'm so dedicated to school that I turned it down ahahahahahahahahah. Whatever. Tease, foreal.

Tomorrow I have a photoshoot with my lovely Nguyen sisters. Haha. Ugh long day tomorrow. I still got decorations to do for the party and my nails. I'm not gonna lie. My party's gonna be G.

Battle 2008

We started off Battle practice not so well. With fighting, lack of communication, lack of attendance, and unclean dances, we really became intimidated when all the lower class men began to look way better than us. And as seniors, we should have been confident in our class and ourselves, but we weren't. Nonetheless, we really pulled through. Though the crowd wasn't the best, without 07 (haha), we really ignored it all and put on the best show we could. I'm really proud of our senior class. The ones who took the time and effort to participate, whether it be games or just attending for spirit.

And JR, we've been friends for hella long and though we don't talk much anymore or dont always read the same page, I wanted to tell you that you're a great president, even if i complained a little at the beginning. I'm proud of you and all the work you've done. Love you.

I must say, this year's battle wasn't the BEST (for some reasons that seniors know about), but WE were the best. Class of 08, and other classes, we rocked that shit. No doubt, everyone deserved first, well maybe except freshman (jk). Remember, it's a class unity thing. Our last battle really brought everyone together.

Oh...

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY, TINH NGUYEN.

I LOVE YOU.

Peelings and Tots

Ugh. Battle next Friday.
I want to sleep in more!!!
Birthday party in 3 weeks.
Feenin` for some love.
Grades need to go up.
I need to eat more.
Worried about party.
Cravin` something sweet.
I miss my mommy.
No more drama in my life.
Need to find a freakin dress.
Wantin` something sexy.

Daisy Belle's 18th Birthday

Happy Birthday, dearest.

Yesterday was Daisy's birthday party and it was at Maggiano's. It was a pretty long day I must admit. I first went to take my mom to get a hair cut at like 2 cause Kanika wouldn't answer her phone and we were all supposed to go get Daisy a gift. Then at 3, she called and said she was just gonna go with Trav, so Jeff and I were running super late. At 4, I got ready and picked up Jeff and we went to Michael's to try to look for a frame, but they dind't have none. We decided (or Jeff decided) to switch cars because my car sucked and we picked up Steve on the way. We then went to get gas but I forgot my extra clothes, so I had to go back. So it was like 530 and we thought were gonna be late cause we had to pick up Jeff's suit still. When we got to the tailor's, they were closed. So boo for Jeff. That's okay though cause we went to Maggiano's to eat.

When we arrived, we waited for like an hour before they sat us. But whatever cause the wait was worth if cause we got helluh food. THe food never stopped coming it was just nonstop. We ate and mingled and it was pretty cool. We were gonna go to the lounge after but they were beginning to card. So we decided to go to Steve's. But only Jeff me Daisy and Steve ended up going and it was pretty sick. I talked to Steve's cat, Pepper, and she talked to me. haha. And we played pool, which pretty much was not that fun because Jeff and I lost because Steve plays everyday and he hella knows how to hit that shit. So Daisy and I went home around 1 and she slept over. We really didn't sleep until 3.

Did you know theres a word called "niglett?" Someone called Daisy that on her myspace and we looked it up on urbandictionary.com:
Nigglett: An underdeveloped adolescent of the dark skinned heritage; A black male or female under the age of 10
example: That little nigglett is really fast, look at him run from those cops. He cant be any taller than 4 foot.
That's really racist and fucked up. Damn, the words people come up with. So, Daisy and I were joking and we were like, "So what are little asians - nipnits?"

We woke up between 7-8am and went to Jeff's house at 10. We just chilled and watched youtube and now I'm wiating to go to Disney Princess Wishes on Ice with Tinh and his neices. Excited!!

The Legendary Sadies

Sadies was Friday. During 2nd, I bumped my head on a chair and got a bump that looked like a freakin tumor. So I thought it was gonna be a bad day. But it was aiight. After school I stayed till 6 to set up. Scotty and I were hanging stars on the ceiling and it was hella scary up there. Then me and the Indians ( :] ) were joking around about hairy arms and taping our legs together so it was pretty coo. At 6, Daisy and I left to get ready at her house. There, I met Dylon, Daisy's date, who was incredibly cute. Haha. Anyways, then we got to the dance and we were early but people were already lining up! We sold hella tickets too, cause that shit was a once in a life time chance. To attend a dance that will go down in history is an honor =) That was probably the best glow in the dark dance ever. Anyways, so everyone was comin` in, gettin the party started, and everyone looked fly as hell. But everyone was nasty and sweaty. I fuckin had my sweat and everyone else's on my back. It was sooo nasty but it was hella fun. I'll never exchange it for anything.

So we were all dancing and Jeffrey came with Steve and Raj! Yay for them cause they weren't gonna come cause they thought they were hella cool or something. We were all dancing and I couldn't even breathe cause everyone was taller than me and taking up my oxygen.

But like always, some drama always comes along in a dance. But I should probably not really talk much about it, cause it was pretty fucked up. Alls i have to say is that I apologize but y'all know the reason why. Anyways, when the dance ended, I realized Karen had taken my car keys home and she wasn't picking up her phone so I was stuck with Jeff. J/K. So we, Daisy, Steve, Calin, Jeff, Kanika, Ashley, Amy, and Michael went to Dennys. Yay for Calin hahaha. It was fun.

Yeah, so if you missed the Space Jam, you missed hellurh fun.

Truly, One in a Million

There's only one person in the world who can make you smile when you're sad.
There's only one person in the world who can make you laugh when you're mad.
There's only one person that will rush to you when you just want to see him.
There's only one person in the world that you can tell your deepest darkest secrets knowing that he will never be judging you.
There's only one person that will be by your side every minute of the day, even if he's not physically there.
There's only one person that you can be yourself around---even when you're talking in an accent that is nowhere to be found in the world.
There's only one person in the world that you will feel comfortable around 24/7, whether you are wearing make up or just waking up with no make up and just eye boogers.
There's only one personin the world that can still say "I love you" after the fact that you two aren't together anymore.
And there's only one person in the world that can be your Best Friend and your Baby at the same time.

I feel lucky to have found someone like you, someone who can fufill all the things that a good friend should. Someone I know that when you say you will never leave my side, through thick and thin, you actually mean it. And there's no chance in the world that I will turn down that offer. You're my number one.


Whether or not you've found that special someone, they're out there, waiting and wishing they could find somebody like you.

They Love To Talk

Telephone (the game): One person starts. They think of something to say and passes it to the next person. The next person repeats what that person says to the next and so on and so on. Once the last person is told the "secret," they repeat it to the whole group. Oddly enough, the "secret" revealed by the last person is different, sometimes really different, from what the original one said.

Now think about it. Telephone is a game we play for fun; however, we play this game everyday. It's called gossiping. There's no denying that everyone loves to gossip, especially girls. I mean, that's where our awkward moments turn into really interesting ones. But when something is stretched into something hurtful or shocking, we know someone in that chain of lies fucked up real bad.

Gossiping leads to wrong conclusions about someone or someone's situation. When word gets out about someone or something, especially if it is wrong, other people begin to talk and judge. And seriously, if I wasn't writing this, I'd be like "So?" But writing this makes me realize that it is so fucked up to say things that I heard to other people when, in fact, I don't even know if it's true or not. Making conclusions about someone, in general, is pretty messed up and for the same reason. We don't know the truth or the facts about that thing! Now seriously, I know everyone has been in this position but I'm fucking sick of it.

So to YOU. Yes, I may appear to be a flirt but you have no freaking idea what is going on in my life. I don't need to tell everyone, and especially you, about my private life, such as my relationships and such. Don't depend on fucking Facebook or MySpace to tell you the truth. Don't depend on them to tell you whether I'm single, married, divorced, or it's complicated. Cause boy do I love to deceive people like you to believe the wrong things. That's how I get my laughs. Seeing how fucking stupid and gullible you are. I feel so bad for you. You have no life so you must dig into someone else's and make conclusions about them because then it'd be fun to stir up some drama. Well, baby, I'm too old for that shit. My life is my life and I know that you know nothing about me. I also know that you will never stop talking about people's lives until you are satisfied with your own, which might take a while. Last but not least, my close friends know the truth and what I'm doing with my life. I tell them what they need to know or what I think they should know. There's a reason why I don't tell people like you. And that reason is so apparent. So YOU, please please please find peace with yourself. Your assumptions on my life and what I do with it is up for grabs to sell cause they'll never be right. So dear YOU, have fun baking a cake of drama, but no offense, I'm probably not gonna eat it.